Two Lonely Souls
by ilovetvalot
Summary: When things start to dissolve at home, JJ turns to the one man that understands how she feels.


_**SPECIAL NOTE: SEPTEMBER signups are now open through AUGUST, 31, 2012 for the "THE MIX n MATCH CHALLENGE!" Details can be found at the forum.**_

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_Prompts: JJ/Hotch – park, swing, owl, wine_

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**Two Lonely Souls**

His footsteps were quiet as he walked through the deserted city park, only the sound of cracking twigs accompanying his movements. Somewhere in the distance a hooting owl announced his arrival. Or perhaps, it was condemning his presence here.

Either way, the little bastard was irritating the hell out of him.

Tonight, he just wanted to share a quiet conversation in the swing they'd claimed as "theirs" six months ago and drink a glass of wine with the woman he'd fallen in love with.

It was a simple enough pleasure to allow himself, wasn't it? They weren't hurting anyone. They weren't cheating. They were simply two friends and colleagues that occasionally met under cover of darkness to share a drink and some harmless conversation.

Of course, if that were entirely true, he wouldn't have anything to feel guilty about, would he?

"I was beginning to think that you weren't coming," JJ remarked softly as he slowly approached the wooden swing on which they'd shared countless discussions. Leaning forward, he watched her snag one of the stemmed glasses from the ground and offer it to him.

Sitting down beside her, Hotch sighed. "It was a little hard coming up with a reason to leave tonight. Jack was already asleep, but Beth…let's just say that I'm not sure she'd understand our friendship. I told her I needed to run back to the office and sign off on some forms and she offered to stay with Jack until I got back," he explained, feeling remorseful that he had not only lied to the young woman, but used her as a babysitter as well. He couldn't continue to do that to her. It certainly wasn't fair to her.

"I gave Will the same excuse," JJ commented with a hollow laugh. "We both know that he wouldn't understand it if I said I needed to talk to you at ten o'clock at night. I'm not sure I understand it myself," JJ admitted ruefully. Taking a sip of her wine, she swallowed slowly. "I guess it would be sort of hypocritical to expect our significant others to accept these late night conversations when I can't explain it myself."

"If it makes you feel any better, I was having the same thoughts myself," Hotch confessed with a boyish half-smile. Sitting in silence for a few moments, he used his foot to prod the swing into motion, the gently sway of the seat calming them both. "What made you call tonight?" he asked, keeping his voice low.

Taking a deep breath of the crisp autumn air, JJ answered, "Another argument. It's beginning to feel like that's all Will and I know how to do these days. I thought getting married would bring us closer, you know? Unfortunately, it's had the opposite effect on us."

"He still sees your career as the competitor for your affection, huh?" Hotch grunted. It was a familiar quarrel for him. He and Haley had battled many, many times over that very topic.

"I can't make him understand, Aaron, and God knows that I've tried," JJ whispered, her tone edged with desperation. "This job…it's a part of who I am. It's part of what makes me who I am. I tried doing something else, and I was miserable. For months. If he loved me as much as he says he does, shouldn't he be able to understand that?"

"I wish I could tell you that he will, JJ, but you know my history with Haley all too well. She saw my job as 'the other woman'. We couldn't get past it," he said sadly, hating to burst her slight bubble of hope, but respecting her too much to lie to her. "I don't want that for either of you, but I don't know how to tell you to stop it."

"Either way that I choose to go, I'm going to lose. We're _both_ going to lose," she whispered shakily, blinking back helpless tears. "If I give in to his demands, I'm going to resent him. If I don't, he's going to leave."

"Do you love him, JJ?" Hotch asked quietly as he turned his head to look at her crestfallen face. His gut twisted as he glimpsed the naked pain in her eyes. He knew that look, having worn it for months as his own marriage had dissolved around him.

"Not enough," JJ confided, her voice cracking on the admission. "Not enough to change who I am for him," she muttered, raising her wine glass to her lips with a shaking hand.

"There's nothing wrong with who you are, JJ," Hotch assured her gently, wrapping his hand around hers and squeezing. "There's not anything wrong with Will, either. Sometimes, the painful truth is that love can't conquer all and the kindest thing you can do is let go."

Releasing a shaky breath, JJ nodded. "At least you found Beth."

Shaking his head grimly, Aaron's shoulders slumped as he stroked JJ's slim hand with his thumb. "Beth is a lovely young woman, but I'm not in love with her. She wants the same things that Haley did. Stability. Security. A guy that works a normal nine to five. I can't give her what she wants. I think tonight just highlighted that for me."

"Oh, Hotch," JJ groaned, her face twisting with regret at his softly spoken words. "I'm sorry. I never meant for my problems to complicate your own. Maybe Beth could learn to accept…."

"JJ," Aaron interrupted calmly, squeezing her hand, "Beth can't learn to accept things any better than Will has or Haley could. She just doesn't realize it yet. When you called tonight, I was on the verge of ending things with her. The decision had already been made in my mind. The bottom line is that she deserves better, and so do I. So do you. So does Will."

Leaning her head against his broad shoulder, JJ murmured, "We're a sad pair, aren't we?"

Chuckling softly, Aaron smiled sadly as he buried his nose in her silky hair. "I guess we are," he confirmed. "But, at least we have each other to lean on."

And buffered there in the darkness with only a white owl for company, two lonely souls found comfort in each other for a moment.

He could only hope that the moment might last for an eternity.

_**Finis**_

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_**Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum news: I'll try to keep it brief.**_

_SEPTEMBER signups are open through AUGUST, 31, 2012 for the "THE MIX n MATCH CHALLENGE!" Details can be found at the forum. _

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